Life lived abunduntly through nature, health and God
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A garden of Virtues

Posted by Lacey in gardening/compost | Spirituality | thoughts - (4 Comments)

My little brother Bear married his sweetheart.

Family celebrating the joyful addition of another member

 

We got 6 new chickens whom haven’t laid a single egg in a month.  I turned 29 and I got 3 yards of dirt as a present.   Don’t feel badly for me, I am thrilled.  Cold frames will be built for my christmas present and I will purchase a select few new heirloom seeds to add to my collection.  Fog has become a familiar friend as well as the biting cold.

My hands are sore from knitting constantly, but I am pleased with how much more quickly I can fly through a project.

Cars continue to wreck in front of our home and the transportation department has finally taken notice and put up massive flashing signs.

A good short term solution….  it means that at least this week, I will likely sleep better.

In my heart and in my head, many problems and quandaries keep me busy.  I am boggled and challenged by the nature of humans.  The nature to harm and cut down.  The nature to hold out a hand and embrace.  I have been shocked and puzzled with my own instincts.  My own nature.  My own secret thoughts.  Recently I have determined to unlock some of these forbidden dark places in my heart.  To wade through the muck and do some house cleaning.

I was struck by a thought that I could be whomever I wanted.  In my heart of hearts I want to be noble.  And wise.  Nurturing.  And graceful.  I want to be strong.

These virtues will never be mine to claim if I don’t make a conscious effort to learn these traits so in turn I can clear out the less savory personality flaws.

I turn to my faith first.  Asking of my Lord that he would instill these in my heart.  Asking that the dark places of my thoughts be exposed and cleaned.

I seek the advice of my dearest friends.  My husband and those I confide in.

Right now my garden sits empty and it makes me uneasy.  There is absense of growth, and where there is absence of intentional good, there is room for unneccesary.  There is room for weeds.

How coincidental that in a soul and in a garden, it is not enough to focus on getting rid of what you dont want.  you will weed every day, as a new opportunist will take advantage of the deep rich soil, a blank slate and an open invitation.  In turn, if I simply tell myself to NOT speak poorly of others, or turn to anger when I am frustrated… If my game plan is simply to NOT do something, than I am a blank space.  Open soil waiting for the next opportune flaw to seed itself.  Pride, bitterness and resentment will take root.  Hatred and distraction will bloom and self righteousness will go to seed.

Instead I will take note of what I want in my garden.  Peace.  Patience.  Kindness.  Goodness.  Self control.  Love.

After these virtues take root, I will need to take care that they are carefully tended and fed, that weeds cropping up near by be pulled from the root and the empty space quickly replaced with something else.

My outdoor garden will hopefully overflow with color and nourishment.  Birds, bees, bugs and frogs.  I hope that the shade it casts is a refuge for my chickens and dogs, a place of inspiration.  I constructed a small seating area in the middle of one garden.  I look forward to tea amongst the carrots.  To laughter between the garlic.  To furthering relationships amidst the wintering wheat.

The moon and I shared a moment on a foggy autumn night

I look forward to being noble.  And full of love and peace and patience and goodness and life.  Because if we do not choose who we are, than we will become whatever the wind brings to our empty soul.

May you choose your virtues and actively seek out what you wish to grow.

Silence is golden

Posted by Lacey in Life | Spirituality - (1 Comments)

 

This weekend I thought I was looking for a storm.  Loud wind.  Chaos.  Perhaps to distract me from the chaos in my head, in my life, in my dreams….. all around me.

As I referred to in my last post I got away to the beach, or rather up in the hills about 10 miles from the coastline.  Completely off the grid, hidden in the trees and surrounded by a boisterous stream.  The lodge was monstrous and strong, the women were light hearted and full of laughter.

And the weather was still.  The sun shone quietly.  Moss hung still.  New green grass peaked up shyly dappled in dew.

Outside it was silent.

I balked at first, searching for noise.  The creek was nearly motionless aside from scattered rapids.  Leaves fell so quietly you squinted your eyes hoping that would help you pick up the slightest plink as it nestled into the water.  But there was none.  No sound.  Hardly even the call of birds.

 

 

It was silent.

I did yoga, listening to my breath quicken as my Ansana picked up speed.  I saw my breath hang heavy in the air, fingers just touching the edge of the water.

As I shut out the noise in my head, all became still.  In my soul.

Once my practice was complete, an urge to get in the water took over me.  I obeyed as though I had no choice, my body pulling me in.

Shoes shucked, I rolled my pant legs and tiptoed in.  Feet, Ankles, Calves, Knees.  Then I stood.  For minutes.  Perhaps 20.  The cold folded around my limbs, but I hardly noticed.  I was listening so hard to the silence.

With the void of noise and commotion, I saw colors.  I saw light play on leaves.  Fish tickling the top of the water.  Little beetles and lost fishing lures.  I noticed warmth on my shoulders from the rare october sun.  There was a faint hint of sea air mingled with the heavy smell of moss and trees and decay and damp.

I felt still.  It was so sweet, I wished I could bottle the moment to open and enjoy again later.

And then I sang.  Out loud.  And relished the imperfectness of my voice, harmonizing with the uneven rhythm of the stream.  I sang one line over and over and over…..

Living Water.  Living Water. Living Water.  Lord, here I am again.

Yes.  I was giving credit to my Creator for the water that sustains life.  For the faith the sustains my soul.  And for being there each time I came and plunged into the water.

Always flowing.

Always quenching.

Always life giving.

 

 

Here I am again.

 

Free

Posted by Lacey in Spirituality - (1 Comments)

Its amazing what you’re capable of when you know you have support.  When you know that no matter what you wear, say or do, that someone will still love you, you feel amazingly free.

What emotions arise when you take off your stereotype.  Who do you feel you are without accessories?  Do you feel vulnerable and empty?  I think that’s the feeling I used to get, and still struggle with.  I needed those things to support my vision of myself.  I was my clothes and car and dreams.  I identified with certain groups and music… as we all do.  But do you still have something when all of that is gone?

If you stood in just your skin in the rain alone in a field…. would you still be you?  In your mind, would you still be you?

What if you could be free of the burdens and pressures of living up to your social norm?  What if the store you shopped at, the coffee you drank, the work you did, the friends you had…. no longer defined you.

What if you became undefinable.  Always changing and growing.  Colorful one day, bland and contemplative the next.  If you were able to find yourself with nothing… then you would feel the confidence to express that in creative ways through the rest of your life.  We all have a need to create.

What if you were free?

The God I serve.  The Christ I love, gives me freedom to strip away the excess and be confident in my bare soul and emotions.  I am free to be constantly changing and evolving.  I am free to fall and get back up.

I am free because I am loved deeply.

Life in Color

Posted by Lacey in Life | Spirituality | thoughts - (2 Comments)

 

Saturday my sis and I departed from home up to the San Juan Islands.  We were in pursuit of good local food, wild inspiring views, raw rugged wilderness, and above all…. color.

It is easy to stop seeing in color.   Most people around you plod through life head down, simply making the steps to finish the course.  So many live in a home they did not create, decorated by things that have no sentimental meaning as they were purchased from the local chain store, eating food they did not grow or do not know where it was produced, watching a show about people they do not know, rooting for a team they have not met, driving a car they do not own fully or know how to fix themselves, admiring the lawn they did not mow, sitting across from a table of children they send elsewhere to educate after working at a job for a company that knows little more than their name and social security number, after having completed several years in a college that told them what to think.  This may be an exaggeration in that it only fits one demographic, but it fits enough individuals, that I think we all know or are some or all of these.

This is the colorless american nightmare.  I think the majority of our country dreams in black in white.  We’ve forgotten how to see in vibrant colors, to imagine, create, and be passionate.  We forget to pick our heads up off of the beaten path and look around.  What if we stopped following the path and created our own?  As we struggle to create our way we would feel ownership and satisfaction as we navigate this wild new journey.  What if we each considered the reason for our routine each day, perhaps we would make the effort to connect more and mindlessly consume less.   It isn’t that we’re not all trying to reach the same goal, being purpose and happiness,  but rather that we have let a single few decide how we should get there and which path is best, and those few are usually making a profit off of our delusional efforts.

We stayed at a small resort/retreat on Orcas Island.  I am completely infatuated with this tiny spit of land floating out in the Puget Sound.  I saw more colorful people on this tiny island in a matter of a few days than I have seen in several years of living in the Portland area.  And Portland is full of interesting people, but few are carving out their own niche.  People making their own way, connecting, creating, passionately pursuing a life of meaning.  Colorful wild gardens were in almost every yard, fences and homes were crafted resourcefully from things found and forged, and rarely purchased specifically for that purpose.  The people were as the land, etched and rugged, but grounded and real.  Growing strong and wild like the forest of greenery on every inch of usable soil.

That isn’t to say there weren’t those with troubled souls, or hurting hearts.  I saw hardship written on many faces, but the majority of the locals owned their life.  They were connected to the community, the soil, the seasons and the greater good of the land they lived on.  There’s something to be said for that.

 

The air tasted like nothing but air.  No exhaust or taste of concrete.  The few restaurants we visited proudly served their own grown morsels, or from someone not far away.  We dined on kale salad and potato-ramp-fennel soup.  The sauteed clams tasted as though they had just jumped from the ocean, bathed quickly in butter and garlic and thrown themselves merrily into the pan.  Everything tasted like food, not just calories.  Earthy and hearty and healing.  Real food.  It made my heart so happy.

I felt the roots of my natural self begin to tangle and wrap themselves around the essence of this little land.  I felt like I could be part of it, contribute to it and be part of it’s color.  But our trip came to a close and so I carefully wrapped those feelings up inside myself and brought them home.

I will unfurl and bring my color and creativity here in my little town and my own little home.  I will not be convinced that life is about that muddy dull colorless trail of no-meaning.  I will not live the nightmare that has been created to simply consume and eventually become consumed.

Where is the abundance in that?!  Where is joy in that?!

As I start to wrap my mind around a life of creative expression, abundance, and fullfilled dreams, I cannot help but imagine that this is in the same thread as my own creation.  I was carefully and thoughtfully made, with purpose for a purpose so that I might find joy.  I was not created in an assembly line to be just like the one to my left and right.  I was created by the hands of my Maker.

When you find what you can live without.  When you recognize that your image cannot be purchased.  When you find that your acceptance will not come from your paycheck or the approval of peers.  When WE decide that WE are better at making decisions for OURSELVES than a collective group of governing officials… then we will live.

And we will begin to see in color again.

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A Permaculture additude

Posted by Lacey in Animals | gardening/compost | Life | Spirituality - (2 Comments)

‘Alot of people put in gardens thinking, ‘oh look I’m doing this great thing for my body and I’m being all eco-friendly, but they never put anything useful back into the soil, so they expect the earth to just give them all the minerals and life giving things from the plants they grow and then they dont give anything back’. ~ summerized quote from Kirk, owner of Cascade Meadow Farms

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My neighbor and I went to see Kirk and his lovely little farm last weekend.  We were met by a thin, heavily bearded jolly guy that immediately introduced us to his guinea hogs that have free reign of the place.  Tereza (as we shall call my neighbor here on)  and I were smitten with them immediately as we scratched their tight broad bellies and fuzzy little ears.  We were completely sold on them after holding a few of the 2 day old piglets.  This next weekend we are hoping to go purchase a breeding pair from him.

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From there we wandered into the Icelandic sheep and Dexter cow herds for their daily feeding of winter hay, and Kirk continued his passionate monologue regarding soil health, nitrogen, the relationship of grass and red clover and how vital it is to the protein feeding of your livestock and essential  to the consumer of the beef products.  It was fascinating.  He doesn’t truck in fertilizers and weed killers, antibiotics or heavy machinery.  He doesn’t send the manure off the land or heap into piles covered in tarps.  He uses the natural spring to water, good pasture rotation, the natural fertilizer that is manure and the common sense of letting nature be your teacher to create a successful, yet humble little farm empire.  His animals were happy, healthy and docile.  They trusted Kirk, you could see it in their eyes as they blinked contentedly as he scratched them behind the ears or withers.

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In the same thread, Tereza and I have been researching permaculture and what it means to grow and sustain while giving back to the earth and not eroding the land we use.  Instead of rotatilling, we are simply sheet mulching right on top of existing grass.  We started discussing the hugelkultur method of building up your soil, which suggests using logs and forest debris in a pile and then heaping on manure, or finished compost, straw or other leafy debris right over the top and let nature take it’s course.  The logs act as a sponge as they decompose aiding in proper drainage as well as being a water source during warmer months.  Planting right on top of this requires little effort, because nature knows best.

I love this.  I love this so much.  It feels so right to garden with the natural cycles and courses of the earth, climate and seasons.  We aren’t disrupting nature, we are adding to it, becoming part of it, including it in our daily lives.  As opposed to simply cutting out our plot of garden space, ripping out the weeds to keep our garden area ‘clean’, poison the bugs and animals that come near it and scare away the birds.  Because nature doesn’t belong in the garden! I have been of the later school of thinking my whole life really.  I knew that manure was good for the soil, but it’s only been recently that I’ve realized that before miracle grow, pesticides, black gold topsoil that you buy at the grocery store, and seedlings from the nursery, that nature knew how to do this well and even more easily!  The weeds I used to yank out, some of them are nutritious herbs, or helpful in deterring harmful bugs, or they provide shade to the seedlings.

I love this video!  It puts it to words and images so well.

The reason I really like this is because of how this is all an incredible metaphor to community and spirituality.  I love thinking of my spiritual community as a permaculture garden.  We don’t cut out our plot of space, declaring it a church for a certain type of individual.  There is room for any life.  The focus is to give back, to sustain to find harmony amongst the community, the city and individuals.  We aren’t afraid of chaos.  Because we grow when we are challenged with hardships.  We are there to provide shade for the weary and to be willing to turn around and ask for a hand as well. We thrive in our messy garden.  Because life is messy.  My spiritual life isn’t pristine, my relationship with my savior, Jesus, still has much room for growth.  My community is not well polished.  But we can still be fruitful.  The goal is to be fruitful in real every day life.  Much like the tomatoes that will grow from a raised hugelkultur bed.  It would be hard to tell that it is a garden, except that there is productive life happening in there.   Spirituality shouldn’t be a separate box in your life, it should be intertwined with every faucet of your being.  Spirituality = Nature.  If you try to force growth in your garden (your soul) with chemicals and keep it separate from everything else, it will only be fruitful (but not substantial) for a short time.  The minerals will wear out.  The facade will vanish and you will be left with an eroded soul.  (Am I getting too metaphoric here?)

It’s beautiful, isn’t it?  Doesn’t that seem so natural?  Both the gardening and the spiritual application?  Nature has so much to teach us when we stop trying to fight against it and instead pay attention.  I believe that is part of God’s plan.  He has given us the tools we need.  For abundant life, for health, and for community.

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A few reading resources regarding sheet mulching, hugelkultur and permaculture

Hugelkultur

Permaculture

Sheet Mulching

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