My little brother Bear married his sweetheart.
Family celebrating the joyful addition of another member
We got 6 new chickens whom haven’t laid a single egg in a month. I turned 29 and I got 3 yards of dirt as a present. Don’t feel badly for me, I am thrilled. Cold frames will be built for my christmas present and I will purchase a select few new heirloom seeds to add to my collection. Fog has become a familiar friend as well as the biting cold.
My hands are sore from knitting constantly, but I am pleased with how much more quickly I can fly through a project.
Cars continue to wreck in front of our home and the transportation department has finally taken notice and put up massive flashing signs.
A good short term solution…. it means that at least this week, I will likely sleep better.
In my heart and in my head, many problems and quandaries keep me busy. I am boggled and challenged by the nature of humans. The nature to harm and cut down. The nature to hold out a hand and embrace. I have been shocked and puzzled with my own instincts. My own nature. My own secret thoughts. Recently I have determined to unlock some of these forbidden dark places in my heart. To wade through the muck and do some house cleaning.
I was struck by a thought that I could be whomever I wanted. In my heart of hearts I want to be noble. And wise. Nurturing. And graceful. I want to be strong.
These virtues will never be mine to claim if I don’t make a conscious effort to learn these traits so in turn I can clear out the less savory personality flaws.
I turn to my faith first. Asking of my Lord that he would instill these in my heart. Asking that the dark places of my thoughts be exposed and cleaned.
I seek the advice of my dearest friends. My husband and those I confide in.
Right now my garden sits empty and it makes me uneasy. There is absense of growth, and where there is absence of intentional good, there is room for unneccesary. There is room for weeds.
How coincidental that in a soul and in a garden, it is not enough to focus on getting rid of what you dont want. you will weed every day, as a new opportunist will take advantage of the deep rich soil, a blank slate and an open invitation. In turn, if I simply tell myself to NOT speak poorly of others, or turn to anger when I am frustrated… If my game plan is simply to NOT do something, than I am a blank space. Open soil waiting for the next opportune flaw to seed itself. Pride, bitterness and resentment will take root. Hatred and distraction will bloom and self righteousness will go to seed.
Instead I will take note of what I want in my garden. Peace. Patience. Kindness. Goodness. Self control. Love.
After these virtues take root, I will need to take care that they are carefully tended and fed, that weeds cropping up near by be pulled from the root and the empty space quickly replaced with something else.
My outdoor garden will hopefully overflow with color and nourishment. Birds, bees, bugs and frogs. I hope that the shade it casts is a refuge for my chickens and dogs, a place of inspiration. I constructed a small seating area in the middle of one garden. I look forward to tea amongst the carrots. To laughter between the garlic. To furthering relationships amidst the wintering wheat.
The moon and I shared a moment on a foggy autumn night
I look forward to being noble. And full of love and peace and patience and goodness and life. Because if we do not choose who we are, than we will become whatever the wind brings to our empty soul.
May you choose your virtues and actively seek out what you wish to grow.
