It came to me today as I examined my dreads, why I love/hate them.
There is a part of me that enjoys ‘put together’. I find joy in symmetry and perfect lines. A friend with perfect glossy bouncy curls is lovely to look at. A home straight out of a catalog can be something to envy…. but not to live in. I don’t want to live in a magazine. I don’t want to look like a photo-shopped ad.
Bleached white teeth and tanning booth tans. Brand new cars driven off the lots, children neat and tidy. Hairs all in a line and shoes with out a blemish. All these things tell me something….. there is something hidden. Somewhere under all that ‘perfect’ is a person with a naked soul wanting to be known.
Twisted branches, tangled hair. Dirt smudged children and warm messy kitchens. Socks with holes and clothes smelling of ‘home’. These things make me feel safe. People that embrace little messes (and sometimes big ones) are saying ‘here I am, welcome to ME’. I don’t begrudge another for having something seemingly perfect, I just enjoy homemade/natural/broken/messy/ghetto- rigged a little bit more.
People that are ‘messy’ and people that are ‘tidy’ all have something in common. We all have the same desires. At the very core of it is the same heart.
So I wear my dreads as an acceptance of my ‘mess’. My imperfection. Here I am, welcome to ‘ME’.
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Lacey,
I agree with you, imperfection is comforting and children smudged with dirt are delightful. I am learning that I tend to be somewhat judgmental towards those who seem so perfect, which is an imperfection within myself. One of my best friends (she happens to be beautiful~white teeth, olive skin and shiny hair) was just talking with me today about the negative way other females treat her. I told her it was because she is beautiful, and this just made her sad…ironically, she is one of the most real people I have ever met, but I think people assume she must be full of herself and vain because she was born with certain physical attributes.
You are right, at the core, we all have a heart, and we all want to be accepted.
Thanks for your insight on this~
Erin recently posted..Swimming Upstream
Thanks for your reply. I tried really hard to make my post sound like I was NOT pointing fingers at natural beauty. My sister is one of those with natural beauty and has struggled her whole life with others treating her snotty because she’s just a beautiful person.
What I was eluding to are the actions that we take to MAKE ourselves APPEAR perfect. Teeth whitening, tanning, maids, interior decorators, plastic surgery, and what have you. I’m not judging these things as bad, merely that they are covering something. Some hurt, need, desire… etc. And I am guilty of my own ‘air brushing’ in certain areas of my life.
People that are ok with letting their hair down, allowing others over when there’s dishes in the sink, when a friend occasionally doesn’t wear make up to hang out with me… these are all things that say, ‘I’m ok with being ‘natural’ or ‘imperfect’ around others’.
Thats what I was trying very hard to convey. I hope that clarifies my heart in this post.
Lacey,
What I have always loved about you is that you are thoughtful, honest and always willing to share pieces of yourself with others. This is why I enjoy reading your blog, and why I enjoy your company!
I totally get what you are saying in this post…it’s so refreshing to be with people who are just comfortable being who they are, without pretenses. Keep being that person~
Erin recently posted..Swimming Upstream
Love this, Lace. Tonight as we were driving home from seeing a dear friend of mine, I told Ben “she just has it all together!” He said, “you know people say that about you too.” I said, “Well, they would only have to come over at noon on a weekday to see very quickly that’s not true… dishes piled high, toys all over, no bra!” but it did make me think about the image I so often seek to portray and how lame it is to do so. You’re right… under an image of perfection is a mess – we are all messes and better to be an honest mess than a dishonest model of perfection.
Thank you for encouraging me to be comfortable in my own skin and not the western ideals of a mom who “has it all.” I told Ben the night before you last came over, “you can tell I’m comfortable with Lacey now” cuz there was all sorts of mess.
I knew you wouldn’t care.
Chelsea recently posted..Reflections on Individuality within the Family
I think your dreads are beautiful! As well as your blog, from what I have seen so far. I just stumbled upon you, and I think your journey is inspiring. <3